153
This week has been quite hard. It was hard to keep up with all the duties and the sessions. I have swum in three different pools and in three different cities, Barcelona, Platja d’Aro and Girona; and two different sizes, 50m and 25m.
Surprisingly, I can swim 500m faster in a 50m pool than in a 25m one, quite funny. At first it was hard to get wet but once I was in I completed it without much more problems than usual. In Girona I was not allowed to use my paddles nor my fins instead I had to use neoprene gloves. I did not like them a lot, they are very heavy when you lift your hand and they don’t give you much push in the pull; I found them too hard for my back.
The rest of the normal sessions were smooth. I did not suffer much and nothing out of the extraordinary happened. It might be good to say that on Wednesday I rode to Santa Pellaia and then I was able to run 7,75km in slightly less than 30mins, I averaged 15,6km/h.
On Saturday, it was raining and I had a very long ride to do. I set up the trainer and I rode on the trainer for 5h. It was not as hard as I expected. Checking back on some data from old weeks I averaged the same bpm and slightly higher cadence, which is good. Although maximum values were not met yesterday. For instance the maximum beats per minute on a given outdoors day is 153, and on Saturday the maximum bpm was 140, although I averaged 125bpm both days. It was very boring to seat in front of the same wall for 5h I hope I don’t have to do this workout very often. Then I left for the run and I did pretty well, I ran 10,5km in 45mins, which is 14km/h.
During the ride I decided to try energy bars. I had planned to eat 5 of them, I know it is not enough but I decided to go with that. I can’t eat them at all. It took me more than 3mins to chew every bar. They are hard to swallow, and they leave my mouth dryer than what it already is. I ended up taking only 4 bars because I just couldn’t eat the last one because I was having a hard time eating them.
On Sunday I did my recovery ride first and then I ran. And I am not sure why, whether it is because I did the bike first, because I did not die on the bike the day before, because I feel better and I am in a better shape or because I took some gels and it wasn’t specially hot I ran faster than usually. 28km in 2h.
During the run I decided to take an energy gel with me and it felt great. I had it at the 30mins mark, I lost a little bit of speed while I was eating; I lost 1km/h for 30seconds, well worth it because then I was able to run for a longer time. Also, I should have taken another one at the 75mins-80mins mark so it would kick in the last 20mins of the run, when I needed some extra energy.
Up until Friday I had something bothering me. On Saturday I wasn’t as mad about it and I was able to focus on my life. On Wednesday, my friends and I decided not to live together anymore. The circumstances have changed for me and I can’t commit for more than 3 months and I they needed a commitment from me. Then I received this ugly phone call that kept me thinking for a few days. The call itself was not so bad, the worst part was the action taken after the phone call. If you don’t trust me why did you decide to live with me?
Everyone changed their mind in the last few days. You can’t say you didn’t know because I had told you about the situation. And it turned out bad for me. You can also jiggle the numbers as much as you want but you just have to admit your decisions weren’t good for me either. Just be straight forward and say it out loud and don’t be afraid. We thought we wanted the same but we realized we did not. And the initial agreement had to be broken because none of us was committed to the old agreement. And outsiders should have never been brought. They are not doing any good for you unless that is what you wanted and you were just afraid to say it.
On the other hand I have to apologize if I have been away. As you might see I have had many problems this week and I just didn’t want to bother you with my problems. Sorry, I can be very jealous of what bother me. I don’t want to end but I know it has an end and I might not be helping much to keep it alive. It is hard to keep up with this distance and my daily chores. I am very sorry if I don’t do what you expect, but a dashboard between us doesn’t help either.
And I guess it is that time of the year were I get melancholic and saucy because by the time that I am writing these words I am just hours away from becoming 2. I still remember it and I can’t get it out of my head. I haven’t heard from you in a little time and I don’t know why. I don’t know if my words hurt you, it was something I had to tell because that’s how I felt but I can’t do because of our agendas. You know I can’t be mad at you. And I still have thoughts to departure with you.
Is this the week to remember the past? Why did I receive such phone calls? And I haven’t received one that would have made me happy.
Right now the Ironman is in jeopardy because I had to break the bad news and that is not nice. You are mad at me, so am I. Do you think I like the result of everything? Fortunately I am moving on, slowly but moving, it took me awhile though. I can’t spend much time with you because you pretty much hate me. I am sorry I am such a failure to you. I know I’ll never be who you want me to be but I have to be who I want to be. And I need to leave my life. Although I agree I should start settling down, and that’s what I am trying to do. And hopefully future decisions and promises will be more accurate and better.
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