12th week of the 2011 season

153

Longest training run in a very long time, nine days in a row. This week I have trained every day. It has also been the week where I have been able to run again.

I started on Monday, which is unusual, with a double bike ride as I did last week. The reason is because I was going to the physiotherapist riding the mountain bike, it takes me about 70mins the round trip and I try to go fast, although, my legs felt stiff.

On Tuesday I did the same as Monday but this time my legs were feeling much lighter. It took me pretty much the same amount of time as always but I was feeling lighter.

Wednesday was a huge day; I was let to run again. First of all I took my bike to go to Girona and then after the treatment I went for a run. I had scheduled a 30mins run, it was going to be the first run in more than three months; I couldn’t push it. Thanks god I only had to run 30mins because I couldn’t even make it. I started a little off pace and dodgy. After 13mins running I started to feel pain on my feet. It was something different, unexpected. My heel wasn’t hurting, it was my arch. I had to turn around before I wanted to but it was for my own safety. When I took off my shoes I saw what the problem was, I had two huge blisters caused by the new insoles and the fact that I hadn’t run for more than 3 months and I had no calluses. Fortunately for me we had Compeed at home, and it saved my life. I am still wearing it.

On Thursday I was all sore, my legs, my lower back, you name it so I decided to go for a bike ride on the trainer. I had my day off the physiotherapist and I enjoyed the ride with no pain. The blisters did not cause any trouble at all. I was walking almost ok but with the bike shoes I had no problem.

On Friday I decided to go for a ride in the morning and then go for a run after the treatment. I did not bike to therapy because I needed the car later on and because the bike had been left in Girona from Wednesday. I thought I was healed of the blisters so I wanted to run for half an hour. I put on some Vaseline, I got ready but I was not able to run. The run lasted less than 7 minutes. I was walking well but running put too much stress on the blisters that I had to stop.

Saturday I decided to take it a little easy so I only went for a run. I did not feel any pain, although I felt slow, which is normal considering my recent past. It was a very sunny day and it felt very good.

On Sunday I took a very long shot on the trainer, longer than the previous week, shorter than I first wanted, but it was getting too late and I was not going to finish the movie anyway, so I shortened the ride from 4h to 3.5h. I think I had the strength to finish the ride but I had not taken any gels and if I wanted to finish the 4h I should’ve taken at least one. Isotonic drink is not enough for the energy expenditure.

I am getting sick of all this waiting and all this shit that my life is. I want to work somewhere, anywhere. I want to start making some money, to have a schedule and to know where I’ll live and what I’ll be able to do and even I would like to know what I will not be able to do.

This week I had to pay a bet. It was the first bet that I have lost in a very long time. And even though I had to pay we should’ve considered it a draw, she just happened to push it to win even though it is not fully clear that she won legally. In my opinion she did not win, but every once in a while you have to make them believe they win. It can almost be boring to win all the time. And cooking every once in a while is something I don’t dislike. And I had fun seeking the recipes and cooking them. I was actually surprised at how good the meal was even though the meat took much longer than what the recipe stated.

I wouldn’t mind getting along with her if I had some closure before. I am not ready to take that step, neither she is. We had a weird chat while eating. And it is funny because she tells me stories that I have lived and I tell her stories that she has lived and we haven’t lived them together.

If she was alone and I was at my best maybe I would consider it. But none of us is alone.

On the other hand I have thought how I would feel if I was told that she had a boyfriend. Well this question has been juggling all week long. Since I spend a lot of time on my own, being able to think, I have concluded that besides I am dying to see her I would be very jealous.

Is it still true that if I don’t play a game I don’t lose it? Can I lose without playing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGbSWP-G-o

11th week of the 2011 season

153

I had just started my second week at rehabilitation. My heel and my shoulder feel better, specially my heel.

So the week started on Monday and I did the same on Tuesday and Thursday. I took a bike ride to and forth my rehabilitation. Since it is a very short ride I tried to go as fast as I could. Also I have been using the TT bike instead of the Tri bike so the trip takes a little longer.

On Wednesday and Friday I did not ride for different reasons.

On Wednesday I had to go to Barcelona in the morning and then rush to the physiotherapist and from there I had to go to the podiatrist to pick up my new insoles. They feel much better than the ones I used to wear. And because of them I feel much better.

On Friday I did not ride to the physiotherapist because it was very windy and cold, besides that I had to eat very late so I was not ready to leave the house with a full stomach.

On Saturday I waited until FC Barcelona’s game started to start training. I had finally set up my new home trainer tire, which by the way it feels well and it is quieter, I took a long ride and I almost finished the entire session but then the problem arouse. I misplaced the tube inside the tire and it popped. It was a very tiny little hole but after two hours and a half the flat tired became evident and I wasn’t feeling right so after a while trying to figure out what the problem was I decided to step out and finish the session, I was only about 15mins short.

On Sunday I chanced the tube and I took another long ride on the trainer. This time I brought my new insoles and a huge playlist with me which I almost finished. I should be careful with my playlists because one of the videos was a little too spicy, I thought it would just be another American new show but it turned out to be from the UK and it was very explicit. It is not nice to have a boner up there. And I also watch a movie that apparently some people have fainted in the theaters while watching it and I was lucky enough not to watch the hardest stuff on the bike.

On Monday, while on my way back from the physiotherapist I finally got that phone call that I wanted. We set up and appointment for Wednesday, that’s why I had to go to Barcelona. I hope I get that job it looks very well and I am eager to start working and I would love that job. It is like a dream come true, at least for what I have been told that the duties would be. My opinion about the interview is that it went well but I have thought too many times that something was going smooth and then it turned away that I have no hope and I don’t even know who the other candidates are.

The other reason why I had to go to Barcelona was to send a form because of the huge mistake that I made and I had to go and try my best to fix it.

This week I have also lost a bet to her and I’ll have to cook a meal. It has been a very long time since I have cooked for someone else and I don’t even know what the menu will be. Plus I have to do it in an unusual outfit.

I have always heard that when athletes are injured they come back as a different person. I had never believed that until this week. Lying on the couch while getting treated has helped me to slow down and to look at things differently. I don’t know if I had such thoughts and they will only be thoughts or it will make a change on me. But I have realized that even the training was very important to me there were things that were even more important than it. 9months ago I did not have as much knowledge about physical activity as I do now. I thought I had to train everyday or I would fail to accomplish my dreams. Now I have learned that I could’ve missed a day or two and I should’ve enjoyed life a little more with the ones and things I care and had to do.

Lying down, the job interview, my physiotherapist, school grades, …; have made me realize that I am not who I thought I was, I am no superhero, no superman, I am just an average guy from small town. I need to get practical and forget about dreams. There are things that just won’t happen and I just have to stop waiting for them to happen. I should forget about them. I should start settling down and start thinking in a realistic future instead of all those dreams that take me nowhere.

I have also realized that I am tired of behaving the way that I was doing it. I thought she deserved everything and sometimes I was putting her in front of me. Sure I liked to do it but I think sometimes I should’ve stepped up and speak up. Too bad if she didn’t like what I was doing, it did not work out anyway, so why the trouble?

Deep down I wish we had one more chance. Although, as I said before I need to get rid of these thoughts and start thinking in achievable goals.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb3kd7BDz1Y

10th week of the 2011 season

153

My motivation has been very low this week, in fact I have only trained three times.

I took Monday off as normal; I had a great group ride the Sunday before yesterday so I needed a day off.

I rejoined my sessions on Tuesday, I was going to have a long swim and guess what a stupid old woman complained to me. She made me stop to argue with her and then I was just out of the session for too long that I would’ve needed to warm up again. She complained because I tapped her leg to signal her I was about to overtake her. She thought that I hit her and she complained that I hurt her. She told me that the pool should be for everyone, well I was on the fast lane and I was there long before her, she saw me, and I was overtaking her every 150m at the most; but if I wanted to train competitively I must go to a different pool. Does it make sense? The pool is for everyone but if you want to train you have to go somewhere else. Anyway, there is etiquette and she clearly doesn’t know it.

On Wednesday I went to the doctor so I did not have time workout again.

On Thursday I was going to work out in the afternoon but my mom managed it to get me a physiotherapist appointment so my whole Thursday afternoon was booked.

On Friday I went for a bike ride, it was cold outside but I decided to go up a long hill and then I was ok. I did not enjoy some of the ride because the road was in a very bad condition but overall was a fun ride.

On Saturday I went for another ride again. This one was a bit longer; the day was nice, sunny and pretty warm. I enjoyed going fairly fast.

On Sunday I was had a bit of stiff legs from the two days before and I decided not to go. Also I was a little lazy to put up the bike, but the major reason why I did not work out was because of the stiff legs.

On Wednesday I went to the doctor, he was back finally after a three week holidays. Apparently I have a plantar fasciitis in my right heel and that is the problem. He also said that the insoles that I was wearing were not good for me, so the chiropodist made a huge mistake. He said I’ll only have to wear insoles for six months and he talked to another chiropodist who is making me new insoles. I was wearing hard insoles and I needed soft insoles and the reinforced parts of the insoles were wrong. According to him I should be able o run in less than 4 weeks. I hope so too.

The physiotherapist said that I could even need less than four weeks, I have already had two painful sessions. I hope the pain will go away because I have had more pain in my shoulder over the weekend than I had before the anti inflammatory sessions. My foot seems to be better than before.

Since I was there I told him about my left shoulder discomfort and he said that I had a normal tendinitis and that a few sessions of physiotherapist will cure me.

So those were good news for me. But there had been some very bad news as well.

I was given two second chances and I blew them both. Then I was given one third chance and I almost blew it. So there must be something wrong with me, I have no motivation to finish what I started many years ago.

Now it is time for me to find a job, I have been looking and I have sent many resumes but only one company has contacted me so far. Best part, it is a great job offer, worst part is that they call me once, I could not pick up the phone and they haven’t called since.

All I wanted to do this weekend was to see her. I needed to spend one of those afternoons that we used to have together and were fun. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNqIUb2RdGQ

9th week of the 2011 season

153

I changed plans this week. I started training on Monday, I hadn’t trained the last weekend and I wanted to start training and I knew I would not be able to train on Sunday, or at least it would be extremely hard so to make the most of it I started on Monday.

Since it was a little cold outside, and I did not have the right equipment to go out or to train at home I decided to increases the number of swim sessions.

So on Monday I went to the pool and swam for a very long time. It feels good to be nearly alone the whole time.

On Tuesday I did a similar session as Monday. Long swim and again I was nearly alone.

On Wednesday instead of an endurance session I did a speed session because it was a public holiday on Thursday and the pool would be closed. So since there was not going to be a swim session I decided to go hard on Wednesday and have some free time the next day.

On Friday and went to the pool in the morning, which is not normal for me, I like it better in the afternoon. I went there and just after the warm up a friend got there and I needed to talk to him so I stopped for a while and chat with him. Another long session. I was a little bit afraid because my shoulder was sore at night.

On Saturday I went to pick up my friend, the one I met at the swimming pool on Friday, and he invited a friend to ride with us. It was going to be a fun day. We were going to bike ride to Sant Feliu, swim for about 2km and ride back home. Everything went as scheduled. We rode, swam and rode again. No pain on my shoulder at all. It was a very good day, 17º outside, and 12º in the water. It was a bit hard to get the wetsuit on because we were a bit sweaty but then I swam very well. Even though it was a group session, that was it, no competition, so that’s why the day before I did not taper any bit.

It is funny that I had shoulder pain on and off this past week. There are moments when I feel better and there are other moments where I feel a lot worse. My body is sick. I have also had some pain in the lower right hand side of my back and now, three days later I feel fine. Why isn’t it like this with my heel?

Last Saturday I went out for the second time since my tendinitis. I would like to thank everyone who came for the wonderful time that I had. It was planned in advanced but the honored one just made it because he is gone again. Next time we shall be less naughty during dinner and have more topics to talk about.

This week I kept talking to a friend and we have a bet, which is due at the end of the month. She is helping me a lot and now we tell one each other what the best moment of the day has been. It doesn’t matter if it is a still picture or a 2hours moment, but we have to decide which one is the best.

She also made me realize that even though I thought I was doing something for her it wasn’t enough and I should’ve done a lot more. I wish I had someone to tell me I wasn’t doing enough for her because I would’ve done anything for her.

I made a huge mistake this week, I had a friend in trouble and I just needed to send a message to the right person, I should’ve double checked I was sending it to her. I realized about that one day late, it was too late. I am very sorry for that and even though my past actions don’t help me I wish you forgive me.

Is our ego too big to open up a little bit to the other? Are we afraid to open up to the other to feel the way we have felt?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyoeBLDM_3Q

8th week of the 2011 season

153

Happy New Year to everyone.

This week I haven’t trained much, the reasons were because it was a recovery week because I was a little lazy, it was cold, because of the holidays and pain, other reasons were because I hadn’t renewed my membership and because I had to moan.

So in reality I ended up doing only 3 swim sessions. They were long, over 4km each.

As always I started the week on Tuesday with a swim, longest swim of all. It was a very good swim where I felt very fast and I could not believe how fast I was feeling, faster than ever. I thought it was because I had taken a few days off last week so it could have been a reason, well it turned out it wasn’t.

On Wednesday I decided to do another long session just to make sure Tuesday’s one was not a dream. I started to feel a little discomfort in my left shoulder, but I just think it is a normal thing to have every once in a while, so it didn’t bother much. And the funny thing is that I was as fast as the day before, weird because I was supposed to be slightly tired from the day before, so it was a neat surprise.

Thursday was a rough day, I had some bad news and I did not feel like training, plus it would’ve been 3 times in a row which is not normal for me, although I would’ve swum in the Olympic size pool. The day was just too rough to concentrate in the water. And I had to change the tube of my bike and I got late at home so I did not ride either.

Friday was a strange day; it was the last day of the year. And since it was a test week I decided to test myself because I knew I was not going to swim in the pool over the weekend. The test turned out to be very good; my T-pace is 1min40secs, 11seconds faster than two months ago. I was extremely happy, even though my shoulder discomfort hadn’t gone away. Then I have to admit that I made a silly mistake and that is that I tried to finish the session with a speed session, it was just too hard to do so. I could not complete everything with the new times, I was very close though. Later in the afternoon I went to see my town’s race and I wanted to run so bad that I had a hard time holding it back. He best part was afterwards when a new project a rose up. A friend of mine and I had the same idea about the new pool.

I wanted to take the first sea swim of the year over the weekend, but because Friday I partied for the first time in 4 months and I went to sleep late I was not able to wake up on time to have enough daylight to complete a session and even though I did not go out on Saturday something similar happened. I hadn’t my pool membership up to date and when I realized it was too late to go to the pool or to the sea.

My heel is feeling slightly better, even though it won’t let me run, I have to say that I was surprised how much time I was able to party without much pain. I had expected to leave the New Year’s Eve party by 3am and I left when the bar closed.

I would also like to mention how sad about who I thought were my friends. I have always had NYE with them unless I was out of the country, which it had only happened 3 times in the last let’s say 14 years. Well this time I was not invited. I was very disappointed. But I had a great time with who I spent such an evening.

This week I have realized what I have been doing with my life for the last 2 years. T has been a waste of time. I could just wrap these 2 years up and throw them in the trash and nothing would happen to me. I haven’t accomplished anything I wanted to.

Until last Monday I had some hope that I would do well this year. Someone opened my eyes and told me that I failed again. Another F in my curriculum and it might be the end of it. Then I talked to a friend near where I got the bad news and he tried to cheer me up. He is one of those friends that I can open myself up and he tried to help me, but I had some hope that has been blown away.

It has been very hard to realize that she is still alive and we don’t even have a word for each other. Whose ego is bigger? Deep down I need closure.

I am very nervous about my future and I jump into fights for no reason. I am taking everything personally. It feels like everyone is attacking me. I need to get out of my house and find somewhere else to live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgcqijaUxdg