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Happy New Year to everyone.
This week I haven’t trained much, the reasons were because it was a recovery week because I was a little lazy, it was cold, because of the holidays and pain, other reasons were because I hadn’t renewed my membership and because I had to moan.
So in reality I ended up doing only 3 swim sessions. They were long, over 4km each.
As always I started the week on Tuesday with a swim, longest swim of all. It was a very good swim where I felt very fast and I could not believe how fast I was feeling, faster than ever. I thought it was because I had taken a few days off last week so it could have been a reason, well it turned out it wasn’t.
On Wednesday I decided to do another long session just to make sure Tuesday’s one was not a dream. I started to feel a little discomfort in my left shoulder, but I just think it is a normal thing to have every once in a while, so it didn’t bother much. And the funny thing is that I was as fast as the day before, weird because I was supposed to be slightly tired from the day before, so it was a neat surprise.
Thursday was a rough day, I had some bad news and I did not feel like training, plus it would’ve been 3 times in a row which is not normal for me, although I would’ve swum in the Olympic size pool. The day was just too rough to concentrate in the water. And I had to change the tube of my bike and I got late at home so I did not ride either.
Friday was a strange day; it was the last day of the year. And since it was a test week I decided to test myself because I knew I was not going to swim in the pool over the weekend. The test turned out to be very good; my T-pace is 1min40secs, 11seconds faster than two months ago. I was extremely happy, even though my shoulder discomfort hadn’t gone away. Then I have to admit that I made a silly mistake and that is that I tried to finish the session with a speed session, it was just too hard to do so. I could not complete everything with the new times, I was very close though. Later in the afternoon I went to see my town’s race and I wanted to run so bad that I had a hard time holding it back. He best part was afterwards when a new project a rose up. A friend of mine and I had the same idea about the new pool.
I wanted to take the first sea swim of the year over the weekend, but because Friday I partied for the first time in 4 months and I went to sleep late I was not able to wake up on time to have enough daylight to complete a session and even though I did not go out on Saturday something similar happened. I hadn’t my pool membership up to date and when I realized it was too late to go to the pool or to the sea.
My heel is feeling slightly better, even though it won’t let me run, I have to say that I was surprised how much time I was able to party without much pain. I had expected to leave the New Year’s Eve party by 3am and I left when the bar closed.
I would also like to mention how sad about who I thought were my friends. I have always had NYE with them unless I was out of the country, which it had only happened 3 times in the last let’s say 14 years. Well this time I was not invited. I was very disappointed. But I had a great time with who I spent such an evening.
This week I have realized what I have been doing with my life for the last 2 years. T has been a waste of time. I could just wrap these 2 years up and throw them in the trash and nothing would happen to me. I haven’t accomplished anything I wanted to.
Until last Monday I had some hope that I would do well this year. Someone opened my eyes and told me that I failed again. Another F in my curriculum and it might be the end of it. Then I talked to a friend near where I got the bad news and he tried to cheer me up. He is one of those friends that I can open myself up and he tried to help me, but I had some hope that has been blown away.
It has been very hard to realize that she is still alive and we don’t even have a word for each other. Whose ego is bigger? Deep down I need closure.
I am very nervous about my future and I jump into fights for no reason. I am taking everything personally. It feels like everyone is attacking me. I need to get out of my house and find somewhere else to live.
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