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1st week of base 3. It is time to put more miles on my feet and shoulders. For some reason I felt very well this week and it also felt like I was not training enough. I had to hold myself back several times and also I felt like I missed some sessions.
I started on Tuesday but this time I did not start with the scheduled sessions. Since I have been very busy because of work I was not sure if I was going to be able to fit in Tuesday’s plan I had decided when planning to move it to Wednesday but when I got home I balanced how much time I had and how long it would take me to finish the sessions. After thinking of the pros and cons I decided to go ahead and change the plan on the go, so I swapped Wednesday’s and Tuesday’s sessions. Why was I able to do that? Well the week had barely started; I had only had one session in the morning so it was not going to affect much of the rest of the week. I believed I missed 15minutes in total.
On Wednesday I did Tuesday’s sessions. I started with a swim that was hard to follow the plan. I just could not believe how fast I took the test when I was having such a hard time just coping up. Then for the first time in the last at least 1 year I was not hungry when I had to eat. The session was hard specially the beginning of the bike and after the run I was not in the mood to eat. Luckily I had food ready that I did not need to cook and even though I was struggling a little bit I put some energy in to my body. It was not that I was trying to lose weight or anything like it, I wanted to it but my stomach did not want me to eat.
On Thursday I had a very easy swim and a long run. The long run was supposed to go for 105 minutes but while I was running I met a friend and I decided to slow down and go with him. After going with him for 50 minutes I was heading home and I decided to increase the pace again. This week my anchor could not make it so that is why I went on my own. Also I broke one promise of mine. I did not want to run more than two hours, and I did but at least I did not break the second promise, the one that states that I can’t run more than 30km at once.
Friday was supposed to be a fairly easy day but it turned out to be a long one. I worked from 6 to 6 and then I went to the swimming pool. After that I was feeling tired and it was late so I headed home. I needed some rest and I took a nap. After the nap I had another argue with myself on whether to spin or not. Well the yes won by far and I decided to do my speed skills session as I had planned. I finished almost at midnight.
On Saturday I wanted to get up early enough but I could not. I was too tired from the passed days. I had been working for 12 straight days and at least 8 hours a day. At around 12 I was hitting the road for those 4h and a half that would make me happy. For some reason I was feeling fairly fast and I even reached my highest speed ever 71 Km/h but in the end I had a low average speed. Then I ran for 15 minutes on a great session. Also Saturday was the second week of the new energy bars. I need to get a bag for them because they melt in my back but I think I can do with these ones unlike the problems I had in the past. Also at night it was raining and for some unknown reason I wanted to go for a run. It took me a lot of effort to stay at home.
On Sunday I had an easy swim and an easy run. Once again another technique day at the pool, I even started to work on polo swimming but very light. Then I went for my 30 minutes run that I took it quite fast, under 3mins50sec per Km going from St Feliu to S’agaró which is not flat at all.
Sometimes I wonder why I work so much if it is not my dream job, I don’t even know if they understand everything I am doing and if it ever will pay back. I wonder how he knew that I was going to stay. But who cares what I do and what I don’t. This is the real world, it does not matter how much effort you put into something, you are asked to do a job and you have to do it in the time frame that you are given. If you don’t have it by the deadline you are not good enough and if you do have it next time they will want it faster.
I am actually a little bit scared of all the hours that I am putting in. I look like a workaholic. What is going to happen in the future? What if I decide to spend more time on the bike than at work? How will they handle it that I only work eight hours a day when I usually work 10 or more? What if I want to move on? Should I stay and compete with the people that already are in the company or should I go somewhere else?
I was talking to a coworker this week and I told him, mate you have what I have always dreamed of. And sure I did dream to have a live similar to his but at this point I am not sure that the old dream would suite me anymore. I have always wanted to work for 8 hours at an office and when I was done I would go home without worrying about anything. It turns out that I receive text messages at near midnight on a Sunday if you can write a very important email after working 4h on a Sunday afternoon because you were asked that same afternoon.
So what if I don’t live my lifelong dreams? Will I get disappointed to myself? Once upon a time I imagined what my life would be, where it would be and how it would be. I did not know who I was going to live it with, and I did not even know if someone else would live it with me, I just knew I wanted that. Well, now I can say that such dream might be over.
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