no ironman frankfurt in 2013 week 2

During this past week I have learnt quite a few things that I will need to take into account very soon. Also, for the first time in at least 5 or 6 weeks I was eager for the Sunday to come to write the blog. I got excited to write again because I had many things to share and to spill out of my head.

I have learnt that I am not allowed to train with any measuring device while I am injured or trying to recover from an injury. I found that it is not normal that I run 1km under 3mins 40seconds when I have not run for nearly two months or when I have been only running 5mins walk/run. I can get too excited when coming back that I need to really hold it back; the worst was that I felt like I could have tried to run faster.

Another thing that I learnt this past week is that I need to get help when needed and I need it from skilled professionals even if it takes a little more to get visited. I feel like I have lost 2 months because I have not gone to the right persons on time. I am much happier with my physiotherapist and my orthopedic now than I had been before.

I have tried to open a little bit more to some people. I have told them things that I had never said before and I have said things that I had never meant before. I have even contacted people that I had not talked to them for a long time and not only to ask for help, I have also contacted them to clear things up and try to get a good relationship with them.

Now it is time to take some action. I have taken already some actions and by speaking about the issues have helped me a lot and I hope that I will get more help in the near future and that my thoughts can come true. I have started a process that I just need to keep on moving it faster and faster it can’t be stopped now. I want to be proud of myself for the first time in a long time.

Emotionally this past week has been a rollercoaster. I have been on a high like on Tuesday after the run to a low on Wednesday. I tried to dissipate some doubts that I had last week, it took me a lot of time to man up and talk. I like that I did it but I just still cannot believe the reaction on the other side.

I have felt disappointed and I had a lot of rage on me and I was not even allowed to do what I like to do when I need to evade and find some time alone. I cannot believe that people criticize some mistakes that then they go and do right back at you and they even put it as if it was your fault. That is not going to happen. This time I did not do anything wrong and I am not willing to swallow it up. I have had moments in which I wanted to do bad things and I still do. I cannot believe the way that this has ended you made me think that I was a bad boy but by your reaction I cannot be so sure anymore.

Some people say that everything happens for a reason and even though I don’t trust it hope it is true this time. This week I should have been in San Diego at a friend’s wedding, instead I am sitting at home writing the blog. Several reasons stopped me from being next to my friends. I am very sorry and I hope they can understand it, I don’t feel good about it and I just wish them a very happy life together. Congrats for getting married, it ain’t going to happen to me any time soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tDYMayp6Dk

no ironman frankfurt in 2013

I have not written for a long time because I have not felt like it. It is probably the first time that it has taken me so long to even be willing to write. Words have not been spilling out of my head and I am still struggling to get them out.

A lot has happened in the last two months. They have been some very tough weeks. By my own choice I decided to no reveal the information of the evolution of my injury with my beloved ones. I am not sure if this hermetic has put me in a downward spiral but definitely I was not in the very best moments of my life, right now I feel better from my injury and hopefully soon I will be able to train again.

This injury has made me realize that I have not had a smile in my face for a very long time. I remember there was a time when I was easier going, funnier and happier and I have seen a decline in the last few years.

The injury had force me to withdraw from IM Frankfurt. It was a huge decision that I had to make because now it means that I don’t know when I will be able to take the journey again. It has been a huge drawback but not the worst in the past 2 months.

What I have been questioning myself is if sport has changed me or I have changed to the sport. If the sport changed me, why am I not happier? And if I changed to the sport, why did I change? What is there that I try to get away from? What I am trying to hide? What am I missing? There is something that I am missing, is it the guilt of having lost many years and realizing that I can’t catch them up? Is it my own failure or just seeing everybody happy around me that make me envy?

Did I have at some point what I have always wanted and I let it go or it was not quite what I wanted? Is my daily life making me happy? Do I feel like I am in the right place at the right moment? Do I need a turn in my life? Do I chase a memory? Will I ever fulfill my dreams?

Although I want to thank some friends for making me do what I did not want to, by coming and visiting and making me leave my pity for a while as time goes I feel more distant to everybody else. For instance, last I had the chance to go out after dinner, after putting some thought I just decided to go home. Was it because I did not like the company, half of the people who I had dinner with were going out. Was I really too tired to go out or it was just being me? Sure I had issues with some of them, but are they that strong to keep me from going out?

I realize that I might not be a winner but I definitely hate to lose. Is this fear sculpting me? Can I handle the stress of not winning? Can I live without thinking about wins and losses and more about maintenance?

And there has also been the brake up. I guess there will always be some unanswered questions such what is there to talk if you are happier without me? Because to my opinion it is self-explanatory. Or why would we be friends if we have no contact and we are not willing to have any? Right now everything that relates to you still hurt to me. And why would I like to be friends with someone who I cannot even stand her presence around me?

I hope that all the damage that you have done to me was not intentionally, because I have been hurt badly this time. So far I have not had the thought of even meeting new people; neither have I had the courage to do what you have done. I guess there are different ways for graving.

I have been thinking what would be the song that I would use to go with this text but I am afraid that what I had in mind would be too revealing and it would close a door, so let’s leave it on the jar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdHCec23BKE

8th week to Frankfurt

This week was supposed to be an easy week but it turned out to be a hard week but it is not physically hard, it has been mentally hard. At this moment Frankfurt is in jeopardy and I am really worried. I will try to start training again tomorrow but I am not very confident.

On Monday I started on the bike as normal with a swim in the afternoon. Easy sessions for both sports, during the swim I felt fairly good but during the bike I might have started to feel something that was not good but I did not pay too much attention.

On Tuesday I had scheduled a medical checkup in the morning and a run in the afternoon. They took a blood sample of me and surprisingly I started to not feel extremely good during the run, my quads were getting tired too easily but I was running at a good pace and it was ok to keep it like that. I was not feeling any discomfort form the day before.

On Wednesday, I should have done a bike test but because my power meter was broken it did not have much interest and I decided to just keep it at a just above normal. In the afternoon I decided to do my normal swim test, it went great, faster than ever, although I was not feeling perfect but the discomfort was not bad.

On Thursday I had a bike session in the morning that it must have been a little harder than it was supposed to be but it was for a short period of time but nothing that I was not doing the week before. In the afternoon everything changed. I had a 45minutes run with running skills work and then it was when I started to feel that something was wrong but it was not too bad to stop. The problems came after the shower.

On Friday it was impossible for me to train, the discomfort became pain and I had to call a physiotherapist to treat me as soon as possible. According to him I don’t have much to worry about and that after the treatment I would be able to ride on Saturday.

Far from expected I was not feeling good enough to go for a bike ride on Saturday. And I am still not feeling good but I will test it tomorrow.

Over the weekend I tried my best to rest and behave although there have been some promises that I had to keep against my will.

I wish that my pain goes away soon with other problems that I currently have. I need to be able to train and to be focused in what I have to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMqF7zOPtA8

7th week to frankfurt

I have just completed the second week with the biggest volume of the plan. It has been hard on the number of hours but it could have been worse.

I am actually quite happy on how I feel overall, even though my biggest weakness is still the same, the bike.

This week I have put in more than 60 percent of the training volume on the bike and yet I am still not quite happy with the results, I guess it just takes time and I still have more than 4 months to go.

On Monday I did the normal triple session increasing the volume on the bike and in the water. It was the first time that I was doing more than 2hours on the trainer and they passed by pretty fast, just the opposite of the water session. The run had no mystery, just to a few kilometers in but not very intense yet.

On Tuesday, I did my bike in the morning and then in the afternoon while running I had an unpleasant friend visiting me that made me stop the run and I even had thoughts about my own safety out in the road. It was cold and I was wet and I could not run because this unpleasant friend was the hail. I had to stop for a few minutes and it did not feel good. I have always said that rain was worse than wind or snow, hail is worse than rain.

On Wednesday I did my recovery session on the bike and then the shortest swim of the week.

On Thursday I had another tough bike ride in the morning followed by a technique run session in the afternoon. The bike ride was tough; I have started to introduce some muscular endurance which is a must that I need to work on. And the running technique is a must this season, once per week I work on my running skills.

On Friday I had scheduled another triple session. The bike session was a recovery one, the run session was a Mexican fartlek of 7 to 3 and another long swim. Out if the three sessions I felt the best in the water, the last session of the day, where I should have been the most tired, unbelievable.

Finally on Saturday I went for my long ride of the week. It was very windy and I decided to climb a bit so the average speed fell dramatically. I had to push a little bit also because of the threatening rain. Only a few drops fell but it was extremely dark and I seriously thought that it was going to rain, therefor I finished the ride with two laps around my town, just in case I would be home.

The week started very grey and ended up a little lighter. I have not been enjoying much what I used even though my sports related activities are still fun. I have been missing something in the past few weeks and it just bothers me because it was something that I did not expect to go wrong. Will I be able to speak it up?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6BC_uQEEmM

6th week to frankfurt

This week I have not been able to train as much as I wanted but the quality of the sessions was fairly good. I finished the week with some loaded legs that I hope to have them unloaded by the beginning of the next weeks.

My power meter is not working fine yet but I am working to get it fix, I would like to have it fixed by the next bike test so I will need to give it a push because it is very important for me.

On Tuesday I was not able to finish my bike session because I had a flat tire on the trainer. It is the first time that I popped an inner tube. There was one other time that I popped the outer tire but the inner tube? That was the first time and I had to stop the session. Also, because of the rain I had to run on the treadmill, it was very boring to run for 90mins in the same place, I hope I don’t have to do it many more times, the pace was lower than normal but it was hard to keep going, I had to pull some mental strength and it was not easy having finished a marathon not that long ago but it had actually helped me.

On Wednesday I was not able to do my recovery session on the bike because I had a dinner the night before and it was impossible. I had not been able to sleep enough and skipping that session was not too bad as I was feeling a little bit of discomfort on my right hamstrings, probably I had not completely recover well from the marathon.

Finally on Friday’s session I decided to do some sets of steps instead of running series, so I went to one of the places that I know with more steps and I went up and down 6 times, I tried to count ones how many steps there were and I counted around 160 and I have to say that it was around because I know I had lost count.

On Saturday I went for the long ride of the week, at first I was not feeling very fast, my legs were still stiff from the day before but then after one hour I started to feel better and actually the tail wind also helped. The average pace was fairly good and near the wanted pace at this time of the season, I was feeling much stronger that the week before and I hope I will keep seeing the progress.

There have been things that I did not like this week and there have been others in which I wish I could have taken part. Seeing some important things happen before your eyes and not being able to grab them is not much fun but there was nothing that I could do at that moment, all I can do is to work to reach those goals, although I will need some help, time and focus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWsXZDs_SAE