During this
past week I have learnt quite a few things that I will need to take into
account very soon. Also, for the first time in at least 5 or 6 weeks I was
eager for the Sunday to come to write the blog. I got excited to write again
because I had many things to share and to spill out of my head.
I have
learnt that I am not allowed to train with any measuring device while I am
injured or trying to recover from an injury. I found that it is not normal that
I run 1km under 3mins 40seconds when I have not run for nearly two months or
when I have been only running 5mins walk/run. I can get too excited when coming
back that I need to really hold it back; the worst was that I felt like I could
have tried to run faster.
Another
thing that I learnt this past week is that I need to get help when needed and I
need it from skilled professionals even if it takes a little more to get
visited. I feel like I have lost 2 months because I have not gone to the right
persons on time. I am much happier with my physiotherapist and my orthopedic now
than I had been before.
I have
tried to open a little bit more to some people. I have told them things that I
had never said before and I have said things that I had never meant before. I
have even contacted people that I had not talked to them for a long time and
not only to ask for help, I have also contacted them to clear things up and try
to get a good relationship with them.
Now it is
time to take some action. I have taken already some actions and by speaking
about the issues have helped me a lot and I hope that I will get more help in
the near future and that my thoughts can come true. I have started a process
that I just need to keep on moving it faster and faster it can’t be stopped
now. I want to be proud of myself for the first time in a long time.
Emotionally
this past week has been a rollercoaster. I have been on a high like on Tuesday after
the run to a low on Wednesday. I tried to dissipate some doubts that I had last
week, it took me a lot of time to man up and talk. I like that I did it but I
just still cannot believe the reaction on the other side.
I have felt
disappointed and I had a lot of rage on me and I was not even allowed to do
what I like to do when I need to evade and find some time alone. I cannot
believe that people criticize some mistakes that then they go and do right back
at you and they even put it as if it was your fault. That is not going to
happen. This time I did not do anything wrong and I am not willing to swallow
it up. I have had moments in which I wanted to do bad things and I still do. I
cannot believe the way that this has ended you made me think that I was a bad
boy but by your reaction I cannot be so sure anymore.
Some people
say that everything happens for a reason and even though I don’t trust it hope
it is true this time. This week I should have been in San Diego at a friend’s
wedding, instead I am sitting at home writing the blog. Several reasons stopped
me from being next to my friends. I am very sorry and I hope they can
understand it, I don’t feel good about it and I just wish them a very happy
life together. Congrats for getting married, it ain’t going to happen to me any
time soon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tDYMayp6Dk
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