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There hasn’t been any rest day this week. I went from last week into this one without the regular break on Mondays. I haven’t swum either because the pool is too far and it just takes too much time to go there and I was supposed to be out of time.
So I started the week with a spin. My legs were still a bit stiff from the earlier days. I haven’t felt like this for a long time. But I am not in the best shape ever so I guess it is normal to be a bit off.
On Tuesday I did my first brick session since my injury in October. It felt great as always. I love to spin and then hit the road for a short run. I did feel a lot the lack of run time, I was much faster at the beginning and not so fast at the end. It is fun and I usually go quite fast. Speed has a different meaning now. What it used to be slow it is now fast, so I can’t say that I am happy about that but I am working on it.
On Wednesday I did something similar to Monday, just a simple spin. My legs were feeling better, they actually felt rested.
On Thursday I was a little busy and I also decided to try how a hour run would feel. It felt well to run for one hour, even though I straggled to finish it. I ended up with at least 6 blisters in my feet, 4 of them in the same foot. I haven’t been able to find out how many blisters I have had because I haven’t removed all the Compeed patches that I had that day. I already know I have had 6 at least. I ran without liquid and I am not used to it anymore. I am used to drink while training and it felt different and it was quite hard.
On Friday it took me quite a bit to get on the bike and the amount of training changed from 4h to 3 to the final 3 and a half hours on the bike. I expected to be a lot more tired that I ended up being. At the same time, I had rescheduled this training because I was supposed to do something else on Saturday.
On Saturday I was free of what I had to do and there was a beautiful day outside and we had to go to Cadaqués to eat sea urchins so I decided to ride to Cadaqués since there is a nice road before you get there. There is a 5km climb which I have always wanted to climb and descent it is a category 3 climb. I expected to have a lot more pain on my buttocks and I expected to go slower. Overall was a very nice ride.
On Sunday I wanted to do another easy brick session but it rained and I was lazy so I decided to watch the soccer match on the bike. It was a speed skills session, so it was easy. I have also learned the difference between good tri shorts and bad cycling shorts.
I feel guilty this week. I had much to do and I have done nothing. I am still working on that 6th chance and I am still not fully working on it. I get distracted too easily.
Also I haven’t done much about the project, I halted it because I had to work on that chance and I haven’t done anything.
I have set new goals to help me motivate and if I accomplish my chance I’ll race, if injuries let me. There is this race that I am checking out lately and I am very excited and I have got enough time to fully train for it. It is going to be hard but it can be extremely beautiful.
The only accomplishment of the week is that on Thursday I had to write a program for a test. My hopes are not very high; it took me too long to do it, although I turned it and working.
Sometimes I feel like I can do and get anything I want and some other times I feel like crap and I can’t accomplish anything.
I have also stopped feeling as fat as I used to feel, although I still need to work a lot. I did not shave, my chest, for two weeks because I did not like what I was seeing, I was hoping the hair would cover what I did not like even though it did not do a very good job because I don’t have much her there.
Sometimes I think to myself, what the hell was going on when you hit on them. How did you do it? How brave were you to try it? I am really scared of being neglected and it makes me to stop and think many times before I make a move.
Also my feelings have been divided. And I haven’t been as depressed as lately. In one hand I just want to leave and be with her. Drop everything and sit next to her and try to build something together.
On the other hand I just want her to be unsuccessful and try to work things out again.
I have been jealous on the input that I have had lately and all I wanted was to destroy that in my favor. It is hard to be friends when you have such information. And it is more difficult when you are like me.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I want. But I do know.
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