week 13 in review

153

The more I train the harder I find to meet my goals. I also realize how hard an ironman is.

I started this week highly motivated. But since the 1st session I did not like the form. My running was not in a good form, it felt like my hips were rocking too much. I felt slow in the pool and out of shape, weird. And the worst happened on Thursday why I was on the trainer doing high intensity work, I felt a little bit of pain under my knee, it didn't feel too serious. Today I can say it was a mistake to keep going. No pain on Friday so I thought everything was fine. Here it comes Saturday though, I swam 3km with ease, slow but easy, it took me quite a lot to get in to the water. Then I went home and I went for a ride. It was a very hot day, about 34ºC. I was about 30mins in the ride when I felt the same as Thursday but I thought it was just a minor discomfort and I did not pay attention to it. I rode for about 3h doing 5mins of high intensity work at the end of the ride and I transitioned to run. During the ride I drank 3 bottles of sports drink and one before the ride and I still felt it wasn't enough, and I took some water for the run. I started to run very fast, 3.30mins/km, and soon I realized it was too fast so I slowed down to a solid 3.45mins/km-3.50mins/km. It was very very hot, it felt like my feet were burning, I was running on embers. At about 20mins in the run I felt like I was hitting the wall, so I poured all the water on me and I started to feel a lot better. I finished the run pretty well, much better than 10 minutes before. I drank a lot when I got home and everything felt ok.

But oh boy on Sunday, yesterday. I started to feel a little bit of pain about 7cm below my kneecap I wanted to try if I could run, I lasted 6 minutes, it was then when I realized what an idiot I am. I should had never run yesterday. I came back home and I am playing with the ice pack, gels and pills ever since.

I am not sure how long it will last because today it feels worst than yesterday, I can hardly walk and it is painful.

My goals my be over. I have started to think about canceling the ironman. It is a difficult moment right now. If it lasts more than a week I don't know what I'll have to do. This time feels like a much more serious injury than the one before. We'll see.

Nothing feels like before. I liked what we were doing but it looks like it has changed. I think I made a mistake on Saturday but I can't change it now. I hope you will forgive me if it doesn't like you.

The media through which we communicate is not the best to express feelings or to find ironies. It is really hard. I don't want to make the same mistakes again. I liked you and I like you but I am not sure why we behave the way we do and why things have shifted so much. I am scared to go farther, to take make that extra step. I have crossed the line before and it did not go well for me, why should I try it again? And now your schedule is way much different than mine, I think everything will cool off, if there has ever been anything because I don't know how you feel and I've never known it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEGt-Vzl2Ws